$20 + whatever cost of shipping for 8.5 lbs from me to you is.

Slightly superficial scratches on the board on the left top, has no affect on the functionality at all; I kept a cover over it and never noticed once they were there until I took it off.

Willing to SLIGHTLY negotiate the price.

Comment or email if interested. :)
  This is me being cute and hopeful.

If you want to email me rather than comment, email is .

If I get no responses, I may message some of you I think likely to go and ask if you might help out; I know I update rarely, and I know from being told that people as a result often miss my updates.  
20 April 2015 @ 07:07 pm
 have spent the day emailing five people about either rp or one of the four shows I'm enjoying. 

Also dealt with being unable to see out of my right eye and had  swollen fingers. Plus, had a suggestion for my next cosplay costume. Steph may guess who it is. And Kate. 

But overall I want to see out of both eyes clearly. Though the right eye is better. 
 AJ is awesome and has written me, like, three Frank/Nancy stories, so I repay her with one.  That I have a feeling is going to be a bit, um, long.  But that's okay.

Title: The Risk to Bloom

Pairing: Frank Hardy/Nancy Drew

Summary: A case requires an older Nancy and Frank to once again pose as a married couple.  But this time there’s no Bess nor Joe to be distractions, and the nature of the case itself helps bring feelings that have been long-buried to the surface again.  Sometimes you have to accept that doing what’s best for you might hurt someone else...and you have to do it anyway.


* ~ * ~ *


And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.

-- Anaïs Nin

* ~ * ~ *
27 October 2014 @ 02:58 pm
 Went to campus early to have time to visit the nurse, as I felt really rotten. 
She informed me that I was--and still am--running a fever over 101 degrees. 
I managed to make it through the first of my two classes today, despite that. When it ended, the professor looked at me and told me to go home and sleep. 
Who am I to argue with a sister?
Today is so fired. 

The man who lived beneath me at my last place went trash-picking regularly. He'd find wonderful things, and anything rose-related he would give me. I made him take money for some things, though, and for this mirror I gave him $10. I'm using "Lagoon" colored paint to color it turquoise, and I adore the roses in the frame. It still needs a second coat and sealant, but I wanted to show it off.

Unfortunately, when my mother visited last week she stepped on it while it was drying and broke the actual mirror. But it's easily replaced, and mom has offered to pay to have one cut to the right size. So I'm not exactly upset.

The actual color is closer to that in the first picture than the second.

Still needs a second coat and sealant.  This picture is much more accurate, color-wise, than the other.
Still needs a second coat and sealant. This picture is much more accurate, color-wise, than the other.

A picture to see the pattern of the frame better.  The color is closer to how it looks in the other picture, however.
A picture to see the pattern of the frame better. The color is closer to how it looks in the other picture, however.
So, what do you think?  Anyone?
Title: The Uneasy Path
Fandom: Chronicles of Narnia (Books)
Series: The Harder Choice, The Greater Reward
Rating: T – changed due to future discussion of serious topics that might not be appropriate for those under the age of 13
Word Count: To be added later.
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. I make no money. I write out of love only, and I hope I don't make Lewis roll over too many times in his grave.
Notes: I apologize for the extreme delay; my various treatments for my health problems are as bad as the diseases themselves, really, and they've been very hard one me. On top of that, my insurance is using dirty tactics to try and deny paying for parts of it. Real life, by necessity and sanity, must come first, but I promise this story will be finished. I now have a regular update schedule. :D
Other Parts | Table of Contents:
Distant Prologue: The Little Hellcat of the North*
Immediate Prologue: The Balance of Justice and Mercy*
Chapter 01: What Happened in Caspian's Cabin
Chapter 02: Lucy and Caspian Discuss the Choice
Chapter 03: The Discussion of Two Kings
Chapter 04: The Parting at the Edge of the Sea

Chapter 05: What Happened In The Queen's Cabin <--NEW 
Chapter 06: Edmund and the Painting <--NEW
Chapter 07: The Return to Ramandu's Island

* Both The Little Hellcat of the North and The Balance of Justice and Mercy can also be viewed as stand-alones; The Little Hellcat of the North is part of my Myths of Narnia series, which I will write more of. This one is the Calormene's version of the defeat of the White Witch, as well as a Calormene Lord coming to the Cair to court the youngest queen, and what happens.
Tags: ,
30 August 2014 @ 04:28 pm
Trying to update more. Trying to read my flist more, too, though updating more I'm trying to first.

Found a few people on LJ and here both had been accidentally unfriended and fixed that, so I've some to fix yet. I plan to do so if over time.

It took me a while to realize why, really, I'd stopped updating. Mostly because my reputation was trashed by some with untrue things--even though some who did the trashing believed it to be true, I'm sure, so no blame nor accusation of lying meant--and most of those who knew the truth didn't say it. Some people who'd called me one of their dearest friends stopped speaking to me and, in some cases, flat out lied to me, and despite my hurt and anger, I missed them all the while.

I still miss most of those people. From both groups. I'd still be friends with most of them again, if they'd with me--truly with me--but my heart and soul are both much more callused than once they were.

So after all that, being kept informed by more than one that gossiping was being said about me behind my back yet, and after going through various mixes of anti-depressants, I stopped. Stopped updating. Stopped reading.

Didn't stop crying or wishing, but that was the work that seemed much more important than blogging.

So, here I am. Back...back in the way I first approached LJ and DW and such, I hope.

We will see how it goes. If those I've refriended and will yet refriend do the same to me. Talk to me. I'd like them--you--to.

For the rest, we'll see.

I've no time to waste on lies or those who say they love me and call me friend and ignore me for bouts on end, or any such.

I literally don't.

But I've all the time in the world for forgiveness and love and reconciliation and friendship.

I'd like to hope that all you do too.

Current email:
19 August 2014 @ 03:27 pm has some awesome deals today. Go check them out! (No, I make nothing if you buy these things. You just save money. Which, y'know, always rocks.)
Are you aware of AmazonSmile?

Located at (in case for some reason you can't the embedded link), it allows you to support one of any number of charities every time you shop at Amazon.

The first time you go to the site, you choose the charity you want to support from a huge list. (You can change the charity to another at any time.) Every time you shop at Amazon, the company will make a donation to the charity of your choice--IF you go to instead of simply The two sites are identical, but starting at the AmazonSmile url is what triggers the site to make the donation. If you go to just Amazon, no donation will be made.

This costs you absolutely nothing extra. It just requires you to type in five extra characters--six if you count the period--when you type in the web address to start shopping.

(And, yeah--if you want to help me and use my affiliate link, I believe I can connect it to AmazonSmile pages, including the very first page/main AmazonSmile page, meaning anything you buy on that visit is associated with my affiliate account. Or I can directly link you, which is a little less risky, to the pages of the items you want, with the smile subdomain included in my affiliate link to the item(s) page(s). Just contact me and let me know when you're shopping and I will get back to you with either my affiliate link to the main site page, or to the item(s) page(s) for what you're buying. The latter preferred, grateful if you contact me about either.)

The above paragraph aside: this is something that costs you really nothing, like using an Amazon Affiliate link. And it helps one of many charities, and you can choose which ones, as I said, and always change the one you have Amazon donate to.

I hope all of you use this in the future.

If anything here is unclear, email me ( or comment here, and I'll do my best to explain it better.
20 June 2014 @ 01:37 pm

“How bitter were
the Prozac pills
of the last
few hundred mornings”
- Leonard Cohen, Book of Longing

Today I think I'm going to die.

It started with a nose-bleed.  Nothing I thought about much; easy enough to deal with.

Two hours later I'm being rushed to the doctor's office, covered in blood, because I've just thrown up a toilet-bowl's worth of life's precious liquid.

The taste is still in my mouth.  The stench won't leave my nose.

I think that I might actually be dying, and for a moment, I'm not even sure how I feel about it.


Turn out it's a reaction to a medication.  Dried out some blood vessels in my nose, which burst; blood ran down my throat in my sleep.  The nose-bleed was just the first sign.

There is relief, but there is exasperation, too; I am so very tired of taking poisons to try and extend my life and improve my life just a little bit more, a little bit longer.

FDR survived polio and became president, I tell myself, so I can survive this.

It's become a mantra.  I'm obsessive about reminding myself of this.

But I don't always believe it, I have to admit.

My doctor had me giving myself shots with insulin needles.  Shots of magnesium.

Except I hit a blood vein by accident one day.  The magnesium strips all the flesh from the vein; everything becomes necrotic, but it's under the skin.

I can't even see the problem.

So it takes a while, until I find myself in a wound clinic. They've numbed my leg and are cutting, cutting, cutting away dead flesh, dead skin, dead fat, and by the time they are done it the hold is so large you could put a golf ball in it.

It looks like a zombie took a bite out of me, I find myself thinking, and I know I'm a little bit in shock as I stare at the hole in my leg and my father helps me walk best I can to the car.

It's not so bad until the numbness wears off.


Then I start to cry and grit my teeth so I don't scream.

I refuse to scream.

If I could keep the tears in, I would; my eyes are squeezed so tightly shut it hurts, but they insist on coming out anyway.

I am a slim woman who has such inflammation she's gained over fifty pounds that she can't lose with exercise.  Only treating the inflammation will do that.

And I understand.  I accept.

But I feel so ugly every time I look in the mirror that I want to sob.

I want my life back.

I'm on so many medications that make my already-pale skin sensitive that no matter the time of year, I must wear sun block to go outside.

I sometimes forget if I'm going out for just a few moments; I burn as a result, and I can blame no one except myself.

The medications I take eat away at my stomach.  I call them poisons, and they are; they poison the disease.

They just poison me too.

I just want my health.  I want my life.

Why is this so much to ask for?

At one point my hair started falling out.

It's grown back.  But it was one more thing; the illness is no longer so invisible.

I wish it was again, even if it meant fights with people who didn't believe me.

I didn't hate myself or my own reflection so much, then, at least.

That was better.

[Words: 597]


[All Related Entries on DW] | [All Related Entries on LJ]
14 June 2014 @ 09:31 pm
 The entry I'm writing is one of the hardest to write: side-effects of treatment.  

I'm trying to not let it turn into the length of a formal paper, which is taking a bit. I've finally set it to talking about no more than five side-effects and so it's become much more manageable. 

So. Final product should exist soon. 
10 June 2014 @ 09:19 pm

The injury to my leg basically made me look like a cannibal took a bite out of me.

It's finally healed enough for me to get online. The pain was distracting. 

So tomorrow I'll put up the next blog-a-thon entry. There are...I think five more. Batya, I'll let you know the various totals of entries and words when I'm done. Desert Vixen, if I forget to put the word count at the bottom of an entry, let me know?

I'm sorry this blog-a-thon has taken so long, but between my mother and father both having health problems and the agonizing pain from my leg, life has been kinda full. But I said I'd finish and I will.

Tomorrow's entry: dealing with side-effects from the treatment.

(By the way: I'm totally broke as a result, but because of this and the donations, I have paid off almost all of my debts and helped my parents out by using some donations to pay for my bills, rather than letting them do it. Hopefully when I finish this I'll have all debt gone.)

Meanwhile, would anyone like to buy a 160 gb iPod Classic, 6th generation? Literally perfect condition. Price negotiable. 

And I hate writing this, but. If you're interested in buying any of the Shadowcat statues that exist, let me know. I own them all. I don't really want to sell any, but. Needs must. 

I was unable to crochet when my leg was hurting so badly, but I can now.  I'll put pictures of things I make up here. If you like any of them, I'll make you one of your own. 

...I have to. I can't go into family things but it's become important I begin to earn some money of my own.

Meanwhile, I was told not to come home for Christmas. Reasons aren't exactly complex, but they take up a lot of space. 

And that's my life atm. I'd start the next blog-a-thon entry now, but there's no wordcount feature on my kindle.  So, tomorrow.
29 April 2014 @ 08:40 am
Oh my God, my leg hurts so badly I cant stop crying.

This make for a great Lyme post about the immune system and how it's affected and things that may happen. And Kindle books from the Big Deal (over 400 books that cost under $4) that I think I'll be buying will be a great distraction.

...I'm rambling in my post because I hurt so badly already, and I'm scared how much more it will hurt when the wound is cleaned out and the packing and bandage is changed today.

God. I'm stuck in bed. I am going to need those books, as I hurt so much I can't even sleep. But I've been trying to save money. One more thing messed up.

And thank you, new and crazy drug laws that kept the Wound Center from writing something for me. The doctor and every nurse said they used to write them, but don't any longer because of the changes. And the all felt so badly for me.

I appreciated it from the nurses. Not so much from the doctor, who COULD write it, and bit get lip debating doing so, but decided not to. Thanks, doc. Your fear has left your patient in vomit-inducing levels of pain.

28 April 2014 @ 09:19 pm
 It MIGHT get finished by May 1st. But with family things, like mom breaking her ankle, this month? I think it was wise just to make a set list of topics for this and decide to just finish as possible.

Though it won't run past May, as I have a class start in early June.

Meanwhile, I'm about to pass out from pain, due to essentially having out-patient surgery unexpectedly today, and the doctor who did it didn't give me any pain killers. (She wanted to, but the crazy changes in laws have thrown the baby out with the bath water. She felt really badly, at least?)

At least this unexpected-like, found out about it this afternoon right before they did it-surgery works wonderfully as an illustrative example for my next Lyme post!

In which you will hear all the details, but as a preview and to give you an idea of the kind of pain I'm in?

I literally have a hole in my right leg that you could put a golf ball in, with room to spare.  Though it has gauze in it, instead of a golf ball, thankfully.  
Though I don't believe that there is a difference in how much pain is involved in the one scenario vs the other.

I'll leave you with that, to give you an idea of how I feel, until I wake up and write the next blog-a-thon post. As between pain and crying, I'm going to pass out for a few hours now.

I hate diseases that affect the immune system and mess with how things heal. I will say that much more for now.

26 April 2014 @ 05:55 am
BTW, due to lots of spam that was driving me mad, along with not receiving emails being sent to me and a few other more private reasons, I have a new email address.

It is: running [dot] towards [dot] spring @ gmail [dot] com.

26 April 2014 @ 05:46 am
I can't believe I forgot this one.  While I edited it in, it deserves a post on its own.

I will read my f-lists again, as often as possible. 

Given my health issues, probably not every day.

I will still miss posts.  I will still have days I read your posts but cannot type to leave a comment. 

But I am doing my best to connect with you and your life.  Please, help me do so.  And do the same with mine.
26 April 2014 @ 04:20 am
I'm starting my new year with my birthday, this year.  It's more personal.

My vision with computer screens is still not great, but the migraines have stopped.  So I'm making online resolutions and sharing them here--because they may relate to you.

1) I will be online every night (barring going out, migraine, or homework) except for Friday nights.  This means I will be on AIM using the username the mirkat.

2) I will be messaging, emailing, or otherwise contacting people I've fallen out of touch with--or even defriended--and miss.  I'll be letting people know how I feel in those emails, as well as how I felt, and I will be honest. 

Honesty is not an attempt at emotional blackmail. 

I was accused of that in an in email once, and a counselor I discussed it with said the best hing I could do was to distance myself from the person who made the statement, as s/he had issues of his/her own that s/he needed to deal with and was not.  The result in such a case, for me, would probably eventually be a painful one.  (The counselor was right in every respect.)

The point of sending these messages is that I miss that person and want to re-strengthen or resume our relationship--in some cases, I'm not even sure what happened, except that the person just stopped talking to me. 

But, again, for each person I message in some form--and this will take some time for me to get to everyone I want to, I know--I am doing so because I still think about that person, miss them, pray for them, wish them well, and would like to resume our relationship.

3) I will become active in fandom again. 

- This means: RP, fanfics, playlists, fanmixes, reading comics, watching TV, reading new books, etc.

- Recs in all of those areas (tv shows, books, comics) are appreciated.

4) I will read my f-lists again, as often as possible. 

Given my health issues, probably not every day.

I will still miss posts.  I will still have days I read your posts but cannot type to leave a comment. 

But I am doing my best to connect with you and your life.  Please, help me do so.  And do the same with mine.

5) I will be posting book reviews that will be copied from a wordpress blog that I'm setting up as soon as I decide on a domain name.  Something short and sweet. is for fandom; I need something that's not for professional things, but could be found by an employer without embarrassment. 

Suggestions are appreciated.  (Think,, that sort of short thing, but something that works for me for general blogging, reviews, etc.)

There.  That looks manageable, no?