Seriously, ask anything.
I'm still stuck on this, and I probably will be for a good while, though it won't take over the blog. I do suspect I'll ask for ideas from time to time, or help if needed.
I promised myself I'll have no regrets when I die and leave nothing undone, and that is a promise I intend to keep, by God.
I don't know anymore what religion I belong in. Oh, I know God exists; I know God is loving. I know Christ and his work and death was part of God's plan for humanity, and I believe his teachings; I'm not sure I believe what people teach about him.
I don't know where I'll end up. But I'm not worried about that either. I don't have the energy to be worried, or anxious, or hold grudges, or hate. And I refuse to do any of them, either. What a waste of a life.
I think part of what finally pushed me over the edge was seeing so many people who claimed to be Christians act in such un-Christ-like ways. And that's almost a sort of cancer that eats away at true Christianity. Perfection is not required. But when the behavior, the average behavior, is un-Christ-like and it does not change...then there's a problem. And it decays the Church, eats away at all those who attend.
And it hurts.
And I don't think I can do it any more. God is my mother/father, my Ima--my informal name for God, like Mummy or Daddy, when I was little--and I love God. I feel God's presence every moment, or else I'd have just fallen asleep and never woken up a long time ago.
But I look at this path, and I look at so many others on it, and I see cruelty and abuse and hypocrites, in all denominations, I see anger and grudges and people who'd much rather hold on than let go, who harden their hearts instead of forgive, who close the door when someone knocks on it--and I feel tired and weak.
No religion is perfect. No human is perfect.
But I worry Christianity has worn me down, and I can't afford that anymore.
If it's in my head, it may as well be in yours, too. I'll try to embed it, and then just put in a download link.
Re-adding a lot of exercise and going back on the Flat Belly Diet. I felt so very good on that.
After the 12th. *wry* So much for class till then. I'll go mad, but I''ll do it.
I was accepted to Seton Hill in Western PA. Guess I'm moving there come Spring.
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